The Green Ribbon: Funhouse Horror and the Curses We Pick up Along the Way

Heather Turman’s The Green Ribbon, written by David Ho, is more horror-comedy or even campy horror, than pure horror. The 10-minute plot about two young women’s pursuit of eternal beauty might remind one of Death Becomes Her (1992) and with good reason. 

In fact, The Green Ribbon is the lovechild of Death Becomes Her and Legally Blonde, what with its blonde sorority girl heroine’s take-charge attitude to a humiliating breakup. Brittany (Charlie R Parker) is used to being the prettiest girl in any room. The opening sequence, its most emphatic and striking, puts the attention squarely on beauty. Garishly edited to arouse claustrophobia with its sheer inelegance, it shows Brittany in the thick of self-adulation.  

Then her college boyfriend breaks up with her—over the phone—for a prettier girl. What’s one to do but immediately set off in pursuit of a dangerous spell for eternal beauty out of an urban legend?  

So that is what Brittany does, accompanied by her friend MJ (Alexia B.), two minutes after the latter first mentions the story. Once the two arrive at the abandoned house with the legendary book of spells—conveniently discoverable and surprisingly well-maintained—the plot kicks off a series of reveals, twists, and finally, a struggle for survival. 

Brittany, like her ancestor Elle Woods, shows smarts when it is most needed. As with her other ancestors Madeline and Helen, they do involve a scale of over-the-top ridiculousness with MJ. Heads roll, faces split, and of course, friendships splinter. The music is dramatic, almost too dramatic in keeping with the film’s proclivity for obvious theatrics. However , it does not shoot for quite the same level of hilarity as Death Becomes Her, choosing instead to straddle the fence precariously. 

The Green Ribbon is a fun ride into eternal curses, and the little loopholes that only the extra groovy college smart brains can use to break them. Of course, there is the matter of price all heroes and fools must pay. Brittany’s true arc might just be a bildungsroman as she figures out which one she is. 

Watch The Green Ribbon Horror Short Film